Posted by @yahoo.com"]Larry TX on January 21, 2005 at 15:32:39:
No big trick. They can tell what tower you are connected too. Don’t tell anybody else, but the govment also tracks your tollroad EZ tag. Even when you are not on the toll road. If there is anything the government does not know about us, they can find out from the marketting databases that track us.
ORDERING PIZZA IN 2010 - Posted by itsonlyajoke
Posted by itsonlyajoke on January 20, 2005 at 07:25:05:
ORDERING PIZZA IN 2010
Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID
number?
Customer: Hi, I’d like to place an order.
Operator: I must have your NIDN first, sir.
Customer: My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it’s
6102049998-45-54610.
Operator: Thank you Mr Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive,
and the phone number is 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln.
Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number is 266-2566. Email address is
sheehan@h… Which number are you calling from sir?
Customer: Huh? I’m at home. Where’d you get all this information?
Operator: We’re wired into the HSS, sir.
Customer: The HSS, what is that?
Operator: We’re wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will add
only 15 seconds to your ordering time.
Customer: (sighs) Oh well, I’d like to order a couple of your All-Meat
Special pizzas.
Operator: I don’t think that’s a good idea, sir.
Customer: Whaddya mean?
Operator: Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that
you’ve
got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National
Health Care provider won’t allow such an unhealthy choice.
Customer: What?!?! What do you recommend, then?
Operator: You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I’m sure you’ll like it.
Customer: What makes you think I’d like something like that?
Operator: Well, you checked out ‘Gourmet Soybean Recipes’ from your local
library last week, sir. That’s why I made the suggestion.
Customer: All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.
Operator: That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids. Your
2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99.
Customer: Lemme give you my credit card number.
Operator: I’m sorry sir, but I’m afraid you’ll have to pay in cash. Your
credit card balance is over its limit.
Customer: I’ll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver
gets
here.
Operator: That won’t work either, sir. Your checking account is overdrawn
also.
Customer: Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I’ll have the cash ready. How
long will it take?
Operator: We’re running a little behind, sir. It’ll be about 45 minutes,
sir. If you’re in a hurry you might want to pick’em up while you’re out
getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little
awkward.
Customer: Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?
Operator: It says here you’re in arrears on your car payments, so your car
got repo’ed. But your Harley’s paid for and you just filled the tank
yesterday.
Customer: Well, I’ll be a #%#^^&$%^$@#
Operator: I’d advise watching your language, sir. You’ve already got a July
4, 2003 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here in
September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge. Oh yes, I
see
here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional
Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?
Customer: (speechless)
Operator: Will there be anything else, sir?
Customer: Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke.
Operator: I’m sorry sir, but our ad’s exclusionary clause prevents us from
offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this. Thank
you for calling Pizza Hut.
You laugh but… - Posted by Steve (Austin, TX)
Posted by Steve (Austin, TX) on January 21, 2005 at 13:51:51:
couple of months back I was traveling from TX to New Orleans, had trouble with my cell phone, so called the cell company, and they told me I was traveling east on I-10 just over the border… they were spot on.
LOL…Poor Guy just wants a pizza ! - Posted by Atone
Posted by Atone on January 21, 2005 at 01:51:26:
Poor Guy just wants a pizza !
Re: ORDERING PIZZA IN 2010 - Posted by Anthony
Posted by Anthony on January 20, 2005 at 13:40:26:
OK I nearly passed on this thread cause of the title.
So gald I did not. I nearly fell out my chair…LOL. This is the best laugh of the day 
Anthony
Re: ORDERING PIZZA IN 2010 - Posted by Cikke - Oh
Posted by Cikke - Oh on January 20, 2005 at 07:33:41:
Now that is some funny sh#*.
Makes you think though!!!
Oh’well at least he kept his scoot!!!