Re: I was at a Christmas party last night and… - Posted by AnnNC
Posted by AnnNC on December 22, 2000 at 22:30:13:
Mark, this is a good time to thank you for your past help to me.
Good post, but… Didn’t your mother ever tell you not to discuss money and income? Are you SURE you’re from the South? Lordy, Lordy! Those other guests for sure are not! Of course there is that Yankee invasion.
I have a friend for over 30 years, and both our moms are from Alabama, and we have never discussed income
ever, and we are as close as friends can be.
Ok, it’s just a thing, now.
But, really, your post shows what the common beliefs are. Sellers and buyers and I’m pretty sure, the employees at the county records dept.
feel similarly, and in fact, I think that this is why the county employees are often secretive about that albeit public information…'cuz you just don’t deserve to have it! You might be evil!
Attitudes are interesting. When I was 14 my parents got a good deal on a home in a much better neighborhood.
Old friends of mine who visited would say, “How many people live here?” as if we needed to take in people to justify living in such a place, because it’s too big for just one family. We had moved from a “lower middle class” neighborhood.
Friends of my mom would comment behind her back “At least she keeps it
clean” (so she deserves it) (always the woman’s job, like caulking couldn’t have prevented alot of the problem!) and others in the neighborhood could only think of it as the “Jones” house and how the “Jones” kept it this way or that, and would never have gone with that color scheme, though Jones had sold it 15 years before to the man from whose estate my family bought it. Oh her? She lives in the old Jones house.
You get the picture. Were we worthy to live in such a house?
Apparently we were to be envied, as evidenced by the
many fast food cartons that made their way over the
hip-high wall. Take that, you.
“Jones” had of course gone to jail for operating a dental office out of the illegally built garage -apartment while collecting 100%disabilty, but that’s another day. Gee, no wonder he was so popular in the neighborhood.
The parties at the house would deteriorate into money discussions, during which my parents were attacked for having more than one pension.
So let’s not enjoy your hospitality, let’s see if you are worthy of even having this house (or making money)
I loved your post, and will be on guard with my own
clever comments now! I should be so lucky uh, I meant, hardworking, as to have to defend my riches! Of course, you can’t say you are a consultant to people in foreclosure because there
are laws against that.
Your best part was about what would the people in F/C
have done had you not come along.
So, by now, I hope you have come up with an illustrative story to tell these people.
You must have a story that makes you appear vulnerable, and lucky, when necessary.
Hey, why not say you had property you were losing money on, and you did a 1031 exchange on it, and how everyone ended up with a problem solved. All very true. Their eyes will glaze over before you get to the details.
Just one quote of some statute number and a tax rule, and pretty soon they will be beggin’ for the recipe for the dip.
There is a Spanish folk tale about a man, a boy and a donkey. Short version, no matter who is riding the donkey, some other person along the path, through the town through which they pass, is telling the rider that they are selfish or stupid. How can the young/old make the young/old ride/walk. No matter what they do, someone else perceives it as wrong.
Each time, one rider gets off to please the people nagging them. Finally, the man and the boy carryy the donkey, and later, one or all fall off a cliff. Moral: A jazzier version of “You can’t please all the people all the time”.
It’s a lovely illustration of other people telling you what you “should” be doing, and especially when they are not involved and have no stake in it.
The question comes up: should you appear humble and hapless, and approachable, or should you appear “successful” and in control. Depends on the audience.
Graduate student on grants, and needing to get the grants renewed for getting their PhD MUST wear
torn jeans and ragged t-shirts. It goes with the
But in investing, you switch from “successful investor” looking for rehab money, to humble buyer
of a flip. Man, the wardrobe changes!
Don’t you think you’re better off just saying you have income properties? Then you can complain about your vacancies (but you never evict… of course)
You really got yourself into this one, Mark. I know your heart was in the right place, but next time, bring the dip. The most neutral thing to discuss that will
stand you in good stead is gardening and cooking, and perhaps cabinet making, and art.
See, turn it around to where you are the hapless person
with a remodelling problem, and then get the guys to tell you their solutions. Then they will love you, because they could help you. There is just too much fodder there that you can use to pull talents out of other people. Use THAT. Let THEM develop, introduce them to
each other, and fade into the background. Oops, too late, meany.
Well, maybe time will heal.
At parties, plants and food, are fairly neutral territory for discussion.
And they are inclusive.
Anytime strangers are together, food is the best thing
to discuss, then onto growing it.
People can be argumentative Thanks for the heads up on
the common feeling of people who view RE investors as
vultures. It’s funny, because here on this board we encourage each other, but in some circumstances
it’s better to make it look more difficult. Well , it IS difficult. There IS work involved.
Why is it that when you are working for someone else
it’s honerable, and when you are working for yourself,
it’s a party and you’re goofing off. If you worked for
$5/hour doing courthouse research, you would be beloved, but if you did it for your own account,
well, you know the rest.
Go for the food connection.
Of course, hot sauce is a “guy thing” but
Artechoke and crab with parmesan is best, with endive
and maybe the artechoke leaves as the dipper, though a cracker works well, and it’s complicated enough.
Barring that, I suggest this to you: it is fairly easy to learn plant propagation, and easy to teach oneself.
This is an appropriate party conversation, unless the other people at the party are world-renowned propagator, or plant biologist.
The talent is in the segway. (sp?) as in, “I have rental properties I’m trying to landscape, how 'bout those thrips?” Yea, I know, you’re not landscaping with orchids. just couldn’t think of something else.
BIG for the South is tomatoes and, of course anywhere,
roses. If you get into tomatoes and hybrids, and maybe some heirloom tomatoes, and heirloom beans, well, there just won’t be enough time to rag on you about
you ill- gotten gains, Bubba.