Time to "Come clean". - Posted by lamarr

Posted by Troy W. (NC) on August 10, 2001 at 06:56:17:

Hey Darryl, I have read all the post on this subject and kind of going through the same thing myself. But my question is, did you ever feel that you and your spouse were going in 2 different directions? Right now that’s how I’m feeling because all I want to do is talk, listen and learn about RE. And my wife doesn’t think it’s exciting and right now with working another job and doing RE when I get home our time spent together is very little.

Any thoughts?

Thanks for your time

Time to “Come clean”. - Posted by lamarr

Posted by lamarr on July 28, 2001 at 17:38:02:

Hi folks,
It’s time I come clean, I had an argument with my wife of 15 yrs. today. No problem there, that’s a common thing. I’ve been unemployed from the Dept. of Corrections for the better part of a year. I just have not found work. I made the decision to do something with my life. With my last money, I bought the Sheets system. I studied it religiously and as yet (almost a year after purchase)I have not made my first deal. Then I was blessed to find CREonline. I’m grateful for the guidance you’ve given me to this point. The wife and I have decided to divorce after my son graduates HS. He’s a froshman this year. We both want him to have Mom and Dad there for him. I’m getting in on the bottom of this thing “flipping” seems to be a good way to get my feet wet and still turn some type of profit. I know that things will get better for me after my first deal, better enough to keep my marriage? I don’t know, and honestly, I don’t think so. I’ll be able to show my boy that you can make your own way through life, and that’s not a small thing to show. I don’t know that there is any advice or suggestions for this, I just did not have anywhere else to turn. Thanks for being there.

been there, done that! (LONG) - Posted by Jim FL

Posted by Jim FL on July 30, 2001 at 24:47:16:

I know EXACTLY what you are feeling and going thru, been there, done that.
Bottom line if what you are doing is not working, then try something else.
This does not mean “Give up” on REI, just change your approach.
I bet you’ve been looking at houses haven’t you?
Most Sheets graduates, me included, start out this way and you see how many houses it got you.
Read all that you can here, look thru the archives on finding motivated sellers, having them find you, and marketing in general.
There is some good info here, and a ton of it works.
You also need to take care of your NEEDS today, feeding the kids, paying your rent/mortgage and living expenses.
So, if getting a job, either full or part time is what it takes, do it.
Just do REI in your time away from the J.O.B.
It can be done, and if you manage it right, you can get away from that J.O.B. sooner, rather than later.
Trust me, if you learn a few techniques talked about on this site, and get some calls from the marketing you learn to do, deals will follow.
Just stick with it, it takes time, great effort, and persistence.
And best of luck on the divorce thing…I’m on wife number three now, and it seemed like hell getting here, but I’m happy.
I know that she and I will face obstacles, as all couples do, but I learned from my past marriages, and use it here with her.
We talk a lot more, and I make sure I take time for her and the kids.
I also try to include her in my work as best I can. I am trying to teach her how to do deals, and I share with her the details of each as they occur.
I know she gets board some times hearing it all, but she is secretly thrilled that I value her opinion and try to teach her how we make money to pay the bills. I overheard her telling her friend this at her birthday party last week. Plus she really likes the nice houses I gotten for us to live in since we met. She has never lived this well before, and proof this REI thing works is the BEST way to get someone else supporting you.

She is also grateful that I have been able to keep us both relatively unemployed since we met, by doing this.
She’s already admitted that she cannot fathom working a traditional job ever again. She thinks it would be a waste of time, and good for her, that is half the battle.

I did not do all that with the last wife, and basically shut her out to work on my business. Sure, she helped here and there, and even knew how to do some of it, but I was better at it, so I moved on without including her. I thought I could buy more houses, and get more done initially so we could get quality time together “later”, and enjoy life. I left her to take care of all the day to day stuff.
It was a mistake, but I’m better off without her now.
She found someone else who would pay more attention to her, and as they say, "When a man steals your wife, the best revenge is to let him keep her."
And I like to add one more part to that…“Be more successful, and move on with life while being happy.”

I know that I am happy, I enjoy what I do for a living, I have a GREAT new wife, and wonderful new kids, and my ex is miserable, and I don’t care.
I actually hope she finds what I was lucky enough to find, because this feeling is so awesome, it seems almost greedy to feel it everyday.

I sincerely hope that if you want to work it out with your wife, as well as make it in this business, that you try hard and make it happen.
Just remember, prioritize, making family first, business second. As long as you work hard at both, at least the REI will succeed, and you’ll have that if all else fails, as well as a clean conscience that you gave it a sincere effort with the marriage.
My conscience is clear, and I am only looking forward to future success and more of the happiness I’ve found here, with no regrets.

Jim FL

Re: Time to “Come clean”. - Posted by Frank Chin

Posted by Frank Chin on July 29, 2001 at 07:36:57:

Hi Lamarr:

I know the wife, family, and neighbors can be negative on what you’re doing. If you haven’t found anything for a year, and if you’ve been spending money for phone and gas looking for deals, and nothing happened, its hard to to keep going.

I did it for a while, and when my mother-in-law calls on the phone for the wife back then, instead of “how are you?”, she’ll say “what did you do today??”

One fellow I know took a Real Estate Sales job to get himself out of the house, get to know the investors, attorneys and bankers in the area. After he’s been on it for a few years, worked for a title company as a day job, and did Real Estate deals at night.

This was some 20 years back. I know some Realtors got wise to it and charged a desk fee for RE sales people. You might look for a realtor looking for beginners willing to let you try it out without the charge. Find out what the deal is in your area.

When I first met this guy, he told me realtors don’t make money doing Real Estate, investors do. So I asked him why he puts his Century 21 blazer on every day and play Realtor.

He tells me that its his disguise. When people see him running around with the Century 21 uniform, they picture him as a Realtor. The added advantage is that he gets to hear what’s happenning, access the MLS listings, and even sell a few houses on the side. Better yet, neighbors and the wife sees him “going off to work”.

My wife worked as a Realtor for a brief time. Her boss, the broker, occasionally needs extra cash - and who doesn’t. He’ll say, its time for me to sell a house. So he’ll look up MLS for houses just listed, and just start marketing it. He’ll look for expired listings, and sell those hard to sell ones.

She tells me he always manages to sell one when he had too.

You may want to specialize yourself as a realtor that understands “creative deals”. Educate yoourself on all the in’s and out’s of Real Estate. I took several years of night school on the subject.

Just a suggestions on what I would do if I was in your shoes.

Frank Chin

Re: Time to “Come clean”. - Posted by Dan

Posted by Dan on July 28, 2001 at 18:05:01:


Hang in there. Life is filled with cr*p situations and how we deal with them is what defines us as human beings.
The course you bought is OK. However you need to read every and all posts on this site and spend the time researching your market to make things happen.
I know personally what you are going through. But on the positive side you have 3-4 years to turn it around, for your family, your son, your wife and most importantly yourself! DO IT!!! NOW!!!
If you need to talk e-mail me.

Re: Time to “Come clean”. - Posted by wayne

Posted by wayne on July 28, 2001 at 23:32:03:

I commend you on your perseverance through traumatic times. I am glad I found creonline immediatly into my re career. Without it I was surely doomed to fail, it cut through all of the bs of carleton sheets and gave me the real information about real estate.


p.s. I know it will be hard to sell your wife on the idea of making real estate work because you have been working on it so long, read all of the posts here and it will give you new angles to approach her as in you will be able to talk to her about real estate with new well thought out ideas and hopefully she will see that it will work.

If not, try not to rub in her face all of the money you have after you divorced.

Re: Time to “Come clean”. - Posted by Darryl

Posted by Darryl on July 29, 2001 at 01:43:00:

Hi Lamarr,
I read your post and I understand exactly where you are coming from. I was there once before myself. When it happened to me, she just looked at me as a dreamer. “Why don’t you get a real job” or “this will never work”. When money is tight, fights about little things are frequent. Depression is at a high and people are on the edge. It’s easy to get trapped into a quick fix scheme. I even went and talked to a bankrupcy attorney when it happened to me. You may want to consider doing this part time to start with. Once you get a check of some sort coming in, she may support your efforts some more. Besides, regardless of what Carleton says, you will need a few dollars to get started with (cloising costs, repairs, advertising, ect). Once I had some cash coming in, I found is easier to get her to accept my “crazy ideas” on a p/t basis to start. Then I slowly involved her in the investing. I asked her opinions and took her along with me on all of the deals that I made. Yeah, I lost a few because she couldn’t picture the place after repairs. So what! Houses are bricks and mortor. If it takes a lost deal here and there to keep sanity in a household , so be it. Maybe it’s too late to save your marriage. Only you and her can determine that. But it is worth a try.
In regards to the Sheets program, opions will vary about his course. I started off with the Sheets course and became a landlord. That was mistake #1. I understand what you are saying in regards to flipping properties. You are on the right track since you are after fast cash. I don’t recall the Sheets course going into great detail about flips. He is a big one on creating landlords. It has been my experience that buying and renting rarely produces any “spendable cash” from single family homes unless you can steal them. If it is a newer house, repairs and vacancies can be less and you can sometimes pocket some cash. It will not be long though, before you have to replace things, do extensive repairs or cover vacancies with your profits. The reason that I’m mentioning this is because his course is centered around buying and holding properties.
I have heard most of the courses available out there. I have most of them. I would recommend Ron Legrand’s courses. Check out his wholesale/retail, for sale by owner and his lease options courses. They are a bit pricey, but are worth every penny. He goes more into detail about doing flips, wraping mortgages, lease options and rehabs. If cash is tight, you can probably start with one of his books. I’m sure your local library has some books that could help as well.
Just My 02 Cents-Your mileage may vary~