Making Divorcing People Mad? - Posted by dt

Posted by dt on February 14, 2008 at 07:43:39:

Well, mentioning that I went through a divorce means that I know about their situation, which means that I dug around the situation, which made the person mad…so comes back to my original question.

I think this is something I just need to experiment. I might alternate between mentioning and not mentioning to see which works best.

If someone here has any experience, I would love to hear.


Making Divorcing People Mad? - Posted by dt

Posted by dt on February 13, 2008 at 19:15:44:

I have mailed to the folks who are going through divorce. I wrote a letter basically saying that I got their names from public record and if they are selling I am interested. I also wore that I am familiar with the family court process and they don’t have to worry about explaining things to me.

Out of three calls I got one of them was very mad.

Do you think I am better off mailing pretending like I don’t know their situation?

I was trying to sell that it is easy to work with me, but maybe I am making more people mad with my letter??? I went through a divorce and I will not be mad with my letter, but maybe I am different? I don’t know.

Let me hear what all you think.

Divorce=source of lots of violence - Posted by John Merchant

Posted by John Merchant on February 15, 2008 at 08:35:48:

From my days of representing D clients I can tell you there’s no source of more highly charged emotion than D court and those involved in a D situation are not easily dealt with.

I can recall several D cases where I or my client or the judge were threatened.

On at least two occasions I whispered to the courtroom bailiff (armed Sheriff’s Deputy) to keep his eyes open because I’d been tipped off that the other side had a gun in purse or pocket.

Those were the days before the first notorious courthouse shooting in Tarrant County TX where a stressed out guy with recent D experience shot up an appelate courtroom (a normally deadly boring forum)and before courthouse metal detectors so we never knew who was carrying what weaponry in court.

Saying this, you might want to tweak your system and wait until the final judgment in those cases, and then communicate with the party in title…IF one party gets title.

So often these days, one party (W usually with minor kids)is awarded possession until youngest child reaches age of majority; and other party, is given what is in effect a “divorce lien” on the property, which lien stays in that person’s possession until the property is sold or the kids come of age.

Another approach is one that a friend of mine uses, where she advertises broadly and buys “D Liens” nationally, cashing out those out-of-possession “D lien” holders.

Re: Making Divorcing People Mad? - Posted by Anne_ND

Posted by Anne_ND on February 14, 2008 at 09:13:28:


Your job is to get people to call you.

Mad people are not mad at you. They are sad or grieving or angry about their marriage. You need to have a plan to deal with calls from those who are mad and from those who are not.

The mad ones probably aren’t going to do a deal with you right then, but if you are polite and compassionate, you may be just what they needed that day (someone to yell at who didn’t yell back), you may be the person they reach out to when they are ready to deal.

I’d say something like “I’m sorry my letter upset you, this must be a terrible time for you- I’ve been through a divorce myself”. Let them go on for a bit, and then let them know you are willing to talk about buying their property in the future.

Don’t take it personally, just use it as a chance to build affiliation and win someone’s trust. Even if it doesn’t lead to a deal, it’s great people-skills practice. I’ve found that there are no more powerful words than “I’m sorry” and “Thank you” when spoken sincerely.

good luck, and congrats on getting your phone to ring.


Lawyers, Guns & Money - Posted by Jimmy

Posted by Jimmy on February 14, 2008 at 05:09:57:

if we are talking about homes titles in both spouses names---->legal entanglements will be a hurdle for you here. you gotta get both H and W to agree on the deal (no small feat in a lot of cases). and depending on where in the process the divorce is sitting, you may have to get both attorneys to agree. or worse, get the family law court to agree.

divorce situations are more complicated than probate, because you ALWAYS have conflicting interests in play in a divorce.

for my money, I prefer distress situations where there are no lawyers or realtors involved.

but if you work out a formula that yields a series of profitable deals, please share the secrets.

good luck

Re: Making Divorcing People Mad? - Posted by IB (NJ)

Posted by IB (NJ) on February 13, 2008 at 19:54:26:

You probably are. It’s one thing to talk about wanting to buy their property. But there’s really no reason to bring up a matter that I’m sure is already pi$$$ing the people off on a daily basis.

Just tell them you would like to buy the house and the benefits it would bring by working with you.


Re: Divorce=source of lots of violence - Posted by dt

Posted by dt on February 15, 2008 at 14:44:55:

Thanks John.

Around where I am, I am guessing that the real properties are sold the most of the time because they got tons of equity, unless they have other asset to offset. And many time during the process. I am targeting those folks who probably had first hearing with the judge for now. I will need to experiment with timing.

Re: Making Divorcing People Mad? - Posted by dt

Posted by dt on February 14, 2008 at 09:30:10:

Thanks Anne,

Good points! What you said makes sense.

Since I am getting “some” calls, maybe I should just tweak a little, before changing my approach completely.

Thanks again.

Re: Lawyers, Guns & Money - Posted by dt

Posted by dt on February 14, 2008 at 09:13:36:

Thanks, I will.

I feel pretty comfortable about dealing with those folks you mentioned and the family law, thanks to the very expensive seminar I went through :slight_smile:

Re: Making Divorcing People Mad? - Posted by dt

Posted by dt on February 13, 2008 at 22:32:01:

Thanks, IB. You’re probably right. Then on the other hand, the other two who called didn’t have any problem.

The reason behind my bringing up their issue was that I wanted to be seen as someone who understand what they are going through. When I went through mine, I encounter many people who have no clue, which was frustrating.

Anyone who had success with divorcing people?

Re: Making Divorcing People Mad? - Posted by IB (NJ)

Posted by IB (NJ) on February 14, 2008 at 06:34:23:

No experience that I can think of. They probably were divorcing but didn’t think it necessary to bring it up and tell me. Why not mention the fact that you went through a divorce so you an empathize with them in what they’re going through and the confusion they may be experiencing?