Posted by Jim FL on September 13, 2006 at 14:19:10:
Frankly, I’d leave it alone.
The only thing you can do for your friend, is support them emotionally during the divorce.
Let me tell you a story…
A very good friend of mine, bought a house, and did so with little cash to get in.
However, they lived in the house for 3 years, before getting divorced, leaving the ex-spouse with the house.
When the divorce began, both parties involved asked my advice…which since there was equity, was to sell the house, and split the equity, and begin fresh elsewhere.
They ignored my advice, and took advice from an attorney, who said, ‘quit claim’ to the ex-spouse living in the house, even though they had ZERO income, and could not afford the house.
Sure enough, about 12 months later, the house falls SEVERAL months behind, and goes into foreclosure.
Again, advice from me was sought, and knowing better, I made reserved comments, and offered some tips to save credit, sell the house, etc.
ALL went ingored.
The mess now…is an even bigger mess, as the loan was ONLY in the name of the one who quit claimed, and the other, deeded the house away, and then refused to move.
So, the house was brought current, fell behind again, when the tenant/ex-spouse stop paying, and the investor with the deed also stopped paying.
Now, the ex-spouses, one will have a foreclosure on their credit, the other will be evicted, and ALL equity, was lost.
Frustrating to watch, but, not something I could push to solve, as a friend.
So, give them a few tips, then step back, and remain away from then situation.
That’s the best bet to keep your friendship.
My friend FINALLY told me the other day, “we should have listened to you last year”…but, he’s not mad, just facing some financial issues for a while.
He’s still my friend though.
See, if you help them, and something works out, where both, or one gets paid, or not, they’ll blame you later for whatever they decide later…should have happened…even if that should have happened, is merely a fantasy in their mind.
Good luck, Divorce stinks big TIME!